2011 MTV Video Music Awards

“yo, yo, yo! I know that I am this year’s IT girl, and so I can appear Hip-Hop and fierce about it, and you won’t give a shit and still be buying my awesome records. Buy 19 & 21! Buy my 23 when it’s out too!” (This is in no way, what Adele actually said. But maybe – just maybe, it could be what she was thinking. She might be imagining everyone in the audience naked too, in her VMA debut performance.)
Photo credit: MTV/PictureGroup

  • Beyoncé announced that she is pregnant. Her new single probably has to be changed from “1+1=2” to “1+1=3” for corrective mathematical calculation purposes. Also, “If I Were A Boy” to “If I Have A Boy”. Jay-Z, congratulations!
  • Lady Gaga appeared as her male alter ego, Jo Calderone. Lady Gaga did not attend the show; Jo Calderone, her ex, did. She He smoked onstage and kissed Britney Spears while presenting an award to her. It is quite the same as the kiss shared between the latter, Madonna and Christina Aguilera. In conclusion, the whole industry is full of lesbian wannabes. Uptight parents and souls around, pee in the pants.
  • Adele did her “Someone Like You” song again, but somehow this time around, it wasn’t as magical as the one she did in the BRIT Awards. Maybe twice ain’t the shine, maybe it’s the lack of glitter; don’t budget on small details. Still, probably the performance of the night.
  • I think I heard someone said that the Americans don’t like to let the British onstage to win prizes, hence the no-onstage win for Adele. I think that’s just rubbish; it’s like saying today’s Chinese New Year. But maybe they do make it harder.
  • I thought Tony Bennett would be performing a tribute to Amy Winehouse, instead he was just merely presenting a speech leading to a Bruno Mars-“Valerie” performance. Next time, I would include that Justin Timberlake is running a tribute for Britney Spears too, but somewhere in Hollywoodland (he’s not there at the show but “spiritually”).
  • Kevin noticed that the tributes were not wow factor. I concur.
  • Cloris Leachman’s 85 and awesome. She presented with the Jershey Shore girls (imagine having to put up with that), and managed to pull it off instead of just merely sounding like she was reading it off the script screen (Nicki Minaj: guilty). She also taught me the term “DTF”, which I searched on Urban Dictionary.
  • Chris Brown lip-synced, but his stunts were aiiight. He must have nice packs.
  • People (at the MTV Asia’s live screening) laughed at Nicki Minaj’s ridiculous outfit, suggesting she was trying too hard; and at Justin Bieber’s expression during Lady Gaga’s Jo Calderone’s rendition/performance of Lady Gaga’s song “You & I” (I am getting confused too). Actually, mostly, anything Justin Bieber. They suggested he shouldn’t win “Best Male”, but maybe “Best Boy”, or even “Best Female”. OUCH.
  • Jessie J was pitiful as the house artist. If repeated lessons don’t teach each year, ask Kid Cudi too. Never be the house artist. MTV, scrap off the fucking idea.
  • There was no hot chocolate and marshmallows at the breakfast buffet this time round. Boohoo!

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